Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Stress

OK, I know y'all are probably sick of hearing me complain, but I don't know when I have ever been this tired. It hit me at about 3:00 today, right after the kids woke up from their nap. I laid on the couch and passed out, with the kids running around playing and crawling all over me. Then I realized, I have to get up and get the drawers emptied because John is coming home at 5:00 with help to move the bedroom furniture out. So I pushed myself up and have been pushing myself since then. I decided it's time for a break.What comes to mind is when I used to work at Stanley's Drug in Waynesboro, MS and I would get so tired at the end of the day I could literally lay down on that thinly-carpet-covered concrete floor and sack out.

The important question now is: Will the Penske truck hold all of our stuff? PLEASE, PLEASE, work! And where in the world did all this little, cluttery stuff that fits in no category whatsoever but must be necessary for daily living come from? (Run-on sentence there). I did some major clothes purging tonight. I am soooo sick of my wardrobe. If you could call it that. Everything is either too little, an incomplete outfit, or something someone kind-heartedly handed down but I feel like I'm 45 when I wear it. I think I have a total of 3 Sunday morning outfits that I wear. Mainly due to the fact that my husband hyperventilates when he hears the word "shop".And probably also because I shop more for my kids than myself. Boy, this paragraph sure is subject-bouncy, huh?

Next thought on my mind: VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean). I. DO. NOT. WANT. ANOTHER. C-SECTION. This will most likely be a subject you hear a lot about from me in the next 5-6 months or so. Be prepared.

This may be my last blog for a while (a week or so). But keep checking back. Ya never know!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Moving On

I woke up this morning to an absence of cramps. That is a great relief to me! Just one day of resting has helped immensely. I am going to try and do some light stuff today--fold some laundry, load the dishwasher, etc. John said no sweeping, no vacuuming, no scrubbing. I hope my kids are in a better mood today. Yesterday was awful. They definitely did not like being out of their routine I have established in the last week or so. We are doing a lot of reading stories. Grace is asking for one now. I have to tell you, Blog, when it comes to you and my baby girl, it's gonna be my baby girl. Signing off!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Stop Sign

Have you ever had a time in your life when you are going full blast and all of a sudden, SCREECH! Life, or the Lord throws up a situation that makes you land flat on your rear? Here I am, moving out of my house in two days, and I have two toddlers to take care of meanwhile. Yes, I have the majority of the work done, except for those things you can't do until the last minute, like packing our clothes for Mom's, packing John's clothes for his interviews next week, and his apartment furnishings. Things that no one else can really make sense of. Here comes the stop sign.

Saturday I started cramping really bad and aching in what felt like my ovaries. I cramped all night and all day Sunday. I started spotting some yesterday, as well. I called my doctor in Louisiana, who delivered my first two, and his nurse said STOP packing. Let someone else do it. That someone else being my husband. Bless his heart. He has to work full time. How in the world will all of this get done? Plus, I have to drive to Louisiana on Thursday. This is NOT A GOOD TIME for this to happen. My nurse feels like my uterus is over-worked and rest should take care of it. I pray she is right. Meanwhile, I am fighting the urge to get up and pick up the litter from the weekend. Sundays always leave my house in a wreck. Why couldn't this have waited until next week??

Early last week, during my Bible reading, I came across this verse: Matthew 6:34, "Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." (evil being trouble).

That verse really stood out to me and I even marked it and wrote a note out beside it. It has been going over and over in my mind as I have tried not to worry about John's job, and where we will be, what we will be living in, etc, etc etc. I think the Lord dropped me a little handful on purpose that He knew I would need greatly. Isn't He great? What do people do who do not trust in Him and lean on Him daily? His grace is sufficient for every need, and he knows just what we need when we need it. We just have to take things day by day, and trust him to provide the answers when we have none.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

This is our headboard, complete except for caps on the posts and a coat of varnish. I think he did a great job! When he builds the footboard, we will have a new bed!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Night Out

This afternoon I cooked a big pot of veggie soup for supper. I started on it at about 3:00, so after I tasted all afternoon, I didn't want to touch it at supper time. I was actually a big nauseous. John thought it was really tasty. In truth, I was trying to get rid of some of the frozen veggies we have in the freezer before we move and have to throw it all out.

John thought this would be a good evening for a trip to Lowe's, to buy some stuff for our bed he is building. He dropped Grace and I off at a shopping center and he and Elijah went to do the man thing. Meanwhile, Grace and I had a great time doing girl stuff together. She is so much fun--so full of personality. I got some really good deals that I am very proud of.

Before we went to town, Grace made the monumental step of poo-pooing in the potty!!! So, after our shopping expedition we went to Braum's for ice cream as a reward for her. By this time, I was starving, so I got a hamburger. If you have access to a Braum's, you must go try one of their burgers. The best I have had in forever. I don't even want to know how many fat grams and calories I consumed. Groooan.

I hope this blog didn't bore y'all to death. I think it has become a diary of sorts for me, a way to recap my day and relive the good parts and make sense of the not so good. Till next time...

Keep On Keepin' On

Today is Thursday, and I don't think I have ever kept my house this clean for this long. I have kept up with the housework and the laundry and the continuous packing. And you know, I still have time for myself and to spend with the kids. It may not be just when they want it, but we have sit-down reading time every night (and sometimes during the day), and yesterday, while I was packing, I tuned the computer to Pandora and we had a good time goof-dancing to some Kirk Franklin and other various black gospel artists :). You should have seen us (or maybe you shouldn't have). LOL!

I let them "help" me do simple tasks--Grace loves to put the silverware in the dishwasher tray. Elijah likes to sweep and vacuum and make up the bed (on his level, of course). It keeps them occupied and within eye shot. I have a certain time set aside every day for my bath and my Bible reading/prayer time. It's just a matter of being organized and staying focused. I have not yet started on my Home Management Binder, mainly because in a week we will be basically homeless for an indefinite period of time. But I am so ready!

I must include another matter that I am excited about: John almost has our new King-size bed finished. It is going to be gorgeous! I have such a talented husband! I will definitely post pics of that soon.

God is good!

I apologize for the lack of new pictures posted. Will get some soon, I promise!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Day 1 of My Journey

Believe it or not, I actually got up before the kids this morning, instead of the kids waking me up begging for breakfast (shameful, I know). I got up and decided that I would have breakfast ready when they woke up. Noble thought. You would think I have never cooked breakfast before. I cooked the sausage, and put the toast in the oven on broil. I never do this, because I always wind up burning the toast. I usually put the oven on 400 and cook it slow. But not today. While I was frying the egg, I noticed a large amount of smoke was coming from the stove. I thought, "Is something on the burner?" Checked the burner. All clear. By this point, smoke is filling the room. Then it hit me. The toast! Now the smoke alarm/detector is going off, thus waking up the kids in a panic. I finally got them settled down, the smoke cleared, and gave them their breakfast: sausage, a fried egg and rice. They wouldn't eat the fried egg, and asked for scrambled eggs. So I scrambled two more eggs. Guess what? Wouldn't eat those, either. At this point, I have wasted three eggs and four slices of bread. Well, no one ever said being a super mom is easy :).

But I am determined! I am not giving up! I shall persevere and come forth a conquerer!! (I'm sure that's in the Bible somewhere).

On another note, we decided to move both kids into our bedroom, with Grace in the pack-n-play and Elijah on his mattress on the floor. It is working out pretty good. Now when Grace wakes up, instead of walking to the other side of the house four times each night, we just say, "It's OK, Grace, go back to sleep." and she rolls over and goes back to sleep. And Elijah slept longer in his bed, too. Now we can take Grace's crib down and move Elijah's toddler bed to the garage for loading into the UHAUL next week.

John has an interview next weekend with an RV company in Shreveport. We shall see how that turns out. Please keep us in your prayers!

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Old Me

STOP! Read the next blog before you read this one!!

This is what I read that reached out and grabbed me because it was like someone was writing the definition of Amy Acklen into Webster's dictionary!

Jessica couldn't believe the mess her house had become. Just a few days ago she scrubbed just about everything, put away all of the stuff that wandered away from its home, dusted, cleaned mirrors, and the house looked great. Now it's in shambles. She has to step over toys, clothes, empty packaging, and even empty milk cartons. It's like a whirlwind went through her house. Everywhere she looks, it looks like a disaster. Meanwhile, her children are bickering with each other, and yelling for mommy's justice, to remedy the minute situation.

Jessica is 30 pounds overweight, has tangles in her hair, is wearing stained sweat pants and a tee shirt, and mourns that she just doesn't seem to have any time for herself anymore. She thinks upon the "good ole days", when she styled her hair, dressed nicely, and was able to keep her house in decent order: Before the children....

A pang of guilt stabs her in the pit of her stomach, as she remembers that God says in His word that children are a blessing from the Lord. She should be thankful for them. She knows there is a better way, but she just doesn't know what to do.

And another part....

What is it that makes you happy? Think on this truthfully...Do you look forward to putting the kids to bed, so that you can watch a movie and eat some chocolate? Do you yearn to "get out"? Is it 'fun' for you to eat, even if you're not hungry?

Well, that may have been the old Amy, but not anymore. I feel as if a burden has been lifted, and inspiration is having a good affect on me. Thanks, Monica! :)

The New Me

Saturday night, while reading my SIL's blog, I stumbled upon a treasure. She provided the link to a website of another stay at home mom. Let me call her "super" stay at home mom. She had some reading material on her page that was just what I needed for the moment. OK, let me back up a bit. Saturday morning, I woke up to a messy house, cranky kids, and a general hopeless and dejected feeling of worthlessness and disappointment in my own self. Probably a better way to sum it all up was to say I was depressed. I felt so bad that I shut myself up in my walk in closet and cried before the Lord for about half an hour. I felt a little better, enough to push myself through the day. Saturday night, I couldn't wait to get the kids in bed and go crawl into my bed with my laptop. There is when I wound up at Monica's blog. I followed the links to this page, and read part of an ebook this woman wrote for Moms. I have included the excerpt that really got my attention in the next blog.

I got to thinking about how much idle time I spend every day, whether on the computer or napping when the kids nap. I don't feel too terribly bad about that part, because I realize my body needs more rest at this stage in my pregnancy. But I spend entirely too much time "loafing", looking forward to eating, and getting my kids out of my hair. I hate that, and I am ready to do whatever it takes to become that joyful wife talked about in Proverbs. I had a good talk about it with the Lord, and I am ready to take it on full speed.

Today, I got up with renewed energy and purpose, realizing my ministry is to my children and my family, and it is such an honor to be able to be at home and serve my family. I feel a change in my spirit, and am proud of what I have accomplished today. I am ready to be the super organized, cheerful and creative Mom that I know I can be. Bring it on!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Saturday

Sometimes it's hard to find something to blog about, when your day consists of cleaning house, washing dishes, packing, changing diapers, etc. The kids are having lots of fun playing in the boxes, so I posted a picture of them doing just that with their Dad. Grace and Elijah have so much fun together these days. I love to hear them playing and giggling, it makes my heart smile (as my MIL often says). I don't have a lot of time tonight, for tomorrow is Sunday and I have to prepare our clothes for church, plan ahead for Sunday lunch, and study my Sunday School lesson. The kids are learning the song, "This Is The Day". I hope to raise them with a holy reverence for Sunday and what it means to us as Christians. I hope all had a great weekend.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Throes of Pregnancy

A couple of days ago John asked me, "What if this is a false alarm? What if you are actually not pregnant and we have already told everybody?" All I've got to say to that is, if I am not pregnant, something is terribly, awfully wrong with me! First, there is the most obvious sign--Aunt Flo hasn't been to visit since October (the best I can remember). Secondly, there is the puking, the nausea. There is the frequent urination, the itchy belly, the cravings, and the smells. Uh, the smells. We went to visit John at work today and from the minute I opened the van door I could smell pizza. John told me I was crazy, that's just the smell coming from the flour/grain mill next door. Maybe my mind just went on and cooked the flour into dough just for the sheer pleasure of smelling it (real or not). And pickles! Dill pickles have never tasted so good! Give me a bag of salt and vinegar chips and stand back, people!! (That craving I haven't actually given into yet, just fantasized about).

And most recent and most interesting, is the tearyness (if that's a word, and the spell check says it's not). Sunday night, in the van on the way home from Shreveport, some country music song about Daddy's little girl came on the radio and I broke down and cried like a baby. Just out of the blue! All I could say was, "I miss my Daddy!" Hello, I am 27 years old. What is wrong with me? John looked at me a little funny, and then I started laughing because I was crying, and then I started crying again. Bless his heart, he didn't know what to do. He just said, "Elijah, tell Mama you love her." LOL. Men are something else.

The packing is still going slow, due to the fact that most of the time, lunch leaves me wishing I had left it alone, and then I need a nap, and before I know it , it's 3:00 and we are just waking up from our naps and then it's time to cook supper and....you get the picture. Our landlord is going to start showing the house today. Apparently, people cannot wait until we move out. I sure hope they don't expect it to be nice and neat. Hello, I'm packing, people! It will all soon be over, and I can sit back and enjoy Mama's cooking for a while. And I intend to enjoy every bite! Doesn't that sound like a pregnant woman to you?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Progress

Slowly but surely, we are getting things packed up around here. Tonight, John and I plan to tackle the wall decor and whatnot. My husband is such a great team mate in this journey called life. I am so blessed.

Grace is sitting on the potty! She has actually "gone" only once, but thinks she is so big sitting up there. She always asks for a "boot" (book) and will sit until she is done "reading". Elijah (siigh), well, everyone says 3 is the magic number (for potty training success), and since he will be 3 on the 16th, I do hope that they are right! I have started stripping him down to nothing but a shirt, and he will go better when there is nothing there to catch it.

Today we got Elijah a haircut and went to Target shopping for a baby gift. I spent about 1/2 hour in the baby department, and cast a wistful glance at the Women's clothing and shoes as I passed by. The days of browsing those departments seem to be gone :(. We had lunch at Chick-fil-A (one of my faves) and the kids had a great time playing in the play area. I went in to check on Elijah and a lady held up a set of keys and asked, "Are these yours?" Amazingly, they were mine!! Elijah must have snuck them in his pocket and them dropped them while playing. Egad!! It's a good thing I walked in when I did!

Still haven't been to the OB. I tried for the 2nd time to get an appointment today and was denied. I think we are going to try and see someone while I am in Alabama, since I will have no trouble finding a babysitter there.

We've had a couple of leads on good places to rent/buy in Shreveport, but, still no job! This waiting is the worst! That's about all that is going on with us right now--packing, job hunting, potty training :). I am sooooo glad my nausea has lessened greatly and my cold is about 80% gone.

Till next time....

Friday, January 4, 2008

Doldrums

Moved out of this house in 3 weeks? What were we thinking??!! John picked up some boxes tonight from a freecycler, so that means next week, we've got to hoof it. We being mainly me. I pray my physical ills will be passed and I can throw myself into it. I will have to let the rest of the house go, I guess. It is going to drive me crazy!

Have I mentioned lately that my kids amaze me? They love to "play" in the dishwasher, resorting the dishes, especially the silverware. I take out all of the knives and let them go at it. Well tonight, they set the table for John and I for supper! Yep, John and I were talking in our bedroom and we came out to the kitchen to sit down with a bowl of chilly and alas, the table was set with bowls and plates and the kids' little plates at their places!! I thought John had done it but he said, no. So who does that leave? I was one proud Mama! Should've taken a picture of it, huh?

How are your resolutions going? I didn't make any this year. The weight loss thing is off, due to pregoville. That doesn't mean I am going to eat myself into a blimp (I'm already half there). I am trying to be conscientious.

Somehow admist all this chaos I have got to plan Elijah some sort of birthday party. My little boy is three this month!! It makes it kind of hard when all our friends and family are so far away. I miss them even more at times like this.

Well, keep warm and keep those resolutions!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Cabin Fever Again!

After four days of not stepping foot out of the house (because of the extreme cold), we decided it was time! John took his lunch break and met us at Mickey D's for some much needed play time for the kids. We got to visit and discuss some plans. It was nice.

It's always interesting going out in public with the children. Grace is fascinated by babies and she walks around the eating area peeping into baby carriers and trying to (a) feed the babies French fries or (b) steal other people's French fries. Fortunately, people think it is cute and don't take offense from her thieving ways.

Elijah always seems to find a way to fall. Maybe because he climbs so much? He bonked heads with another little boy once and ran smack into a pole another time. I think maybe he needs his eyes checked?

I got a little crunk on some little, well, rather big girls in the play area. They were way too big to be playing to start with, but to top it off they climbed on TOP of the area where the little kids play and had on really big, heavy boots. I asked them nicely to get down and take their boots off because they could hurt other children. They did get down, but ignored me about the boots. I was nice, but if the Mom hadn't showed up, I probably would've done a bit more scolding. Blame it on hormones.

I tried to explain to Elijah about the baby today. He scrunched up his nose, put his hands out and said, "What do you mean?" I told him we are going to have a little baby like cousin Evan. I asked him did he want a baby brother or sister. He kind of ignored me for a while, but a few minutes later he came up to me and said he wants a baby brother. Not sure if he knows what he is talking about, but it is mighty cute.

I am still not sure how far along I am. I was thinking about 8 weeks and then I started thinking and it could be more like 12 weeks. I am going to try and see a doctor pretty soon so I can find out for sure. My clothes are already getting tight. I so dread the maternity clothes thing! It so hard finding modest maternity clothing and the clothes from the first two pregnancies are about threadbare. Why do they think fat people want to show everything off??

I am feeling a little better today, cold wise. My nausea seems to be getting a little bit better day by day. I plan to start packing this weekend (ugh) and then we will figure out what we are going to do with all of our stuff in between moves. I will once again be homeless, but it will not be for long, I hope.

I'd best be off to cook some hamburgers for my wonderful man. I am so craving strawberries and fruit dip. Elijah was my slushy baby, Grace was my pancake baby, and it looks like this one is going to be my fruit baby.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Ok, I'm about to get frustrated because I don't understand why my center picture at the top of the page keeps turning out so small. It kind of loses the effect, ya know?

Well, our New Year's turned out to be a little bit less than peppy. Grace and I seem to have caught a bug of sorts. I am nauseated, stuffy, and achy all over. I'm not sure what Grace's symptoms are except for stuffy nose. Bless her heart.

John and Elijah went shopping today and left Grace and I at home to chill. We rather enjoyed it.

John turned in our 30 days notice to our landlord today, which means I have to start packing everything up. I sure hope I get to feeling better or it is going to go very slowly. Please pray for us that everything will fall into place at the right time (regarding the move). John got what seems to be some promising contacts for jobs in Shreveport over the weekend. I am going to go stay in Alabama with my Mom for a few weeks next month until we get some more concrete plans made.

Sorry this blog was so boring. We are still kind of out of it from all the traveling and being cruddy. Love ya'll.

Amy